Summer blues

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Most people I know have a form of Seasonal Affective Disorder in the winter. Not me, summer is my idea of purgatory. I writhe with sadness during the months of June, July, August and half of September.

It wasn't until after years of counseling that I realized my annual sadness is related specifically to these months deemed as hell to me. Weird, I know - hating summer and the heat, but look at me. I'm a fair-skinned, red-headed, leg-chafing, sweat-monster. It happens.

Additionally, I gain the most amount of weight (during the year) during these months. I lose in the other seasons. Also, my attention span goes from awesome multitasker to barely there stupor.

In my years of counseling, I've learned to ahem, ...tolerate, these 100+ days with proactive techniques:

1. Enjoying the early mornings, late nights.

2. Marvel in my surroundings: This is especially easy in Durham as everything is green, lush, in-bloom and Mother Nature's little creatures are everywhere.

3. Accepting the philosophy that all good things come to those who wait. In this case, fall is my reward. My favorite time of the year. It's funny that love and hate really are a thin line (day) away.

4. Forcing myself to enjoy the bounty of local farmers so I may retrain my brain that good things come out of summer - like gorgeous vegis and flowers.

5. Moved to a state where summer days are not typically over 100 degrees for long spells of time.

6. Staying inside when possible. When it isn't, visiting the ocean, a place where the heat is tolerable and slightly required.

7. Sleeping - a lot. My grumpiness is much easier when I am rested. There's no need to fuel that pissed-off fire. 

8. Accepting that it is okay to not enjoy this time of year and as long as I am not upsetting others (too much) then it is okay to be me - the summer-hating woman that I am.

9. My biggest coping mechanism in all things related to things I don't enjoy is to put it into perspective with the saying of "only (fill in the blank) more days and it is over." Realizing that I can do/tolerate anything in (fill in the blank) days puts things into perspective. Keeping my eyes on (distracting myself with) the prize is my best tool for fighting my blues.

10. Shopping. Yep, there I said it. Retail therapy isn't always a bad thing.

Now that I can cope, I can get busy curing cancer or writing a book...on September 15.

Food memories: Wedge spinach salad

Travis surprised me last week with a Moleskin recipe journal. The idea is that I'm supposed to write my recipes within it for future inspirations. I admit that it's a little haunting to me right now.

It's funny how I remember and miss places by the food I enjoy there. For example, I miss Santa Monica due to a wonderful cupcake and sushi dinner that I had. Manhattan has so many memories, but bagels and burgers top the list for me. Each destination has a new memory in food.

Often, I'll return home and recreate a meal to feed these nostalgic pains. This week, I'm missing Oklahoma City - specifically a personal favorite of mine, The Wedge.

My weekly meal there would be filled with the Truffle Shuffle pizza and a spinach salad or just the salad, add chicken. For now, my interpretations will have to calm my wanderlust and nostalgic belly.

Spinach salad with chicken
Dinner serving size - 2 salads with a lot of walnuts left over

1/2 cup of whole walnuts, halved
1 T of flour
3 T brown sugar
1/2 t cinnamon
A few fresh grates of nutmeg
1 T melted butter
4 cups of spinach
Pulled chicken (I boil breasts each week and utilize these during the week for meals)
2/3 c olive oil
1 T Dijon mustard
1/4 - 1/2 t sugar
1/3 c balsamic vinegar
1 pear, sliced thin
Salt and pepper to taste

Toss the walnuts in the flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and butter. Lay flat on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake at 300 degrees for 10-20 minutes. (I pull these out when I start to smell the wonderful medley of nuts and cinnamon, before they burn. Watch them carefully.

In a small bowl (I use a small Mason jar with a sealing lid), combine the mustard, oil, sugar, and vinegar. Mix until incorporated well. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Assemble the salad with the spinach on the bottom, chicken and sliced pears next, walnuts and then top it off with the dressing. Toss to mix well.

*When I have it on hand, I add shredded asiago cheese to make it more similar to the Wedge. 

Pulled.

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After a short trip through New York City this week, I realize that I'm still pulled by it. It's as if there is invisible rope around my guts pulling me towards the city. There's an electricity that I cannot explain, nor deny. To not visit it annually seems unthinkable, unbearable.

For someone so pulled to it, you'd think I would have done more than just dreaming of living there.

It stops my heart like a great love and butterflies my stomach like first love.