Power

Source: pbase.com via Nancy on Pinterest

If you had no concept of time, could you tell a sunrise from a sunset? I've lost track of time, visual cues no longer guide me in days and months. Rather life is marked by events.

As I traveled this month, I stared out my assigned window seat (a must when flying) and smiled a smirk as I typically do. I love that with each flight I take, I'm reminded that with a change in altitude (or attitude), perceptions change. Mountains that seem impossibly high, appear to be nothing but a ripple in the Earth's ground. Endless rivers compare to a water droplet sliding down a window. Both equally lose their power with a change in perception.

I know, that the blips in our struggle with having a family are just that, blips, in the grand scheme of our lives. They do not tell our story, rather they add to our overall existence. One day, we will look back at these struggles and know that this pain, made us love each other more. Appreciate more. Stare into each other's eyes more, with an increased love, because only we have traveled this road together. One day, it will be our little secret. The one we admire each other for, another one we have survived.

When you are climbing the mountain or rafting the aggressive waters of the river, perception is hard to change. You cannot imagine that they can be something small, rather they consume you with their power.

Until you rise above it and respect that just like that, powers shift.

This year can either be deemed a challenging year or a year of blessings. We've now experienced two miscarriages within the past 70 days. We can give this situation the power by feeling betrayed and beaten by the loss. Or, we can assume it by seeing this as a blessing that successful connection occurred. I assume the latter.

Perceptions change. And, I guarantee this, we will rise above this. We will set the sun on or have it rise on this one minor blip in our life.

Fertility issues, prepare to have your ass kicked as we, the Powers, are going to take what is rightfully ours.

*Note: I'm not going to lie, this recent loss has left me devastated. It freaking sucks. Having to have a period following this situation is a bitch. However, I chose to not sit still. To not let this leave me in the corner trembling. My goal in life, is for someone to say at my passing, "yeah, that boot straps quote -  she laughed at it as she strapped on her stilettos." Because we all know that pulling on a pair of boots and walking is much easier than navigating life in stilettos.

(Sophisticated?) Chicken & rice casserole

As the nights become darker and the temperatures colder, I can’t help but crave comfort food. Specifically, my Mother’s recipes of casseroles and “home cooking” dinners.

My Mom is known for being an amazing cook. She is very precise and diligent about everything she makes and each time it is better than the last, but tastes just the same.  While I was in middle school, my single-parent Mother was busy (literally keeping food on the table) working four to six jobs at once (everything from newspaper delivery to cleaning houses to her full-time job), so meals were simple, quick and filling (and usually less-expensive).

With 1,200 miles separating us, said comfort meals are my responsibility.  A few weekends past,  as I struggled to find an easy meal that involves very little prep (since we were moving homes), I scoured my pantry and found the ingredients to make Chicken & Rice casserole, a working-night staple in my childhood home.

I’ve stayed away from making this meal in the past six months due to oh-I-don’t-know, chicken being one of the main taste-drivers of this dish (because we don’t really eat meat).  However, this weekend in our moving fury, I’m working to empty a pantry.

As I looked at the ingredients in front of me, I thought “How can I make this one step better?” (a goal I’m going for in general with life)

I’ll tell you how you make it better – you add drunken mushrooms and caramelized onions, that’s how. Then, you change the Ritz crackers to Panko, throw in two cans of cream of (fill in the blank) instead of one (because you forgot that it only takes one), add in the other goodness and bake.

It was comforting and fantastically foodie all in one. Past life, meet present.

(Sophisticated?) Chicken & rice casserole

1 cup of Minute Rice (uncooked)
8oz of sour cream
1 – 2 cups of mushrooms (quantity depends on your love of mushrooms, type does too)
1/2 tennis ball sized yellow onion
½ cup of cooking white wine or the leftover white wine your Mom didn’t drink last time she visited.
1 can of cream of chicken
1 can of cream of mushroom (but you could easily make this yourself, ya know?)
1 cup of Panko crumbs
1 can of chicken (yes, Travis made me do it)
1 can of chicken stock (I think it is 12-14 oz.)
3 TBS butter
2 TBS olive oil
¼ tsp. dried thyme
2 dashes of Worchestire sauce
Salt and pepper

Mix together the cans of soup and sour cream, slowly incorporate the broth, then the rice and set aside. Slice onions into rings or large chunks for caramelizing (I prefer ¼“ rings) and place in a sauté pan with 1 tablespoon of butter and 1 tablespoon of olive oil. Coat the onions and leave them be. Do not touch them for 5-7 minutes. After this time has passed, stir and toss the onions. Sprinkle a pinch of salt over the onions. It is important not to salt the onions until this step to help them relish and sweeten their natural flavor. Think about it – do you want to enhance the raw onion flavor or the sweet cooked flavor? Salting them now helps the flavor to develop and then to sweat them and push them over the caramel cliff. Cook on low until they are a warm, translucent brown-color. Like suede, but better.

Once finished cooking, place in the bottom of the casserole dish you plan to bake this dish in. Spread them out to maximize onion-per-bite potential.

On to the mushrooms – quarter or half the washed mushrooms and sauté in the same (onion) pan with 1 tablespoon of butter and 1 tablespoon of olive oil. Stir to coat and leave them be. We’re looking for browned, crusty edges. I personally quarter mine b/c I’m looking for as much browning-potential real estate as possible. Once the butter/oil is absorbed and things are looking brown (5-10 minutes), add the wine and a pinch of salt. This salt will trigger the mushrooms to open their pores and let the absorbing begin. Cook until all of the wine has been absorbed. Place in the bottom of the baking dish with the fancy onions.

Going back to the creamy rice mixture, add ¼ teaspoon of garlic powder, ¼ teaspoon of dried thyme, 2 dashes of worchestire and a generous helping of pepper. Add a pinch of salt while you are at it. And, if your mate desires, add a large can of chicken (or the real-deal stuff cubed). Mix together and pour over the mushrooms and onions.

Melt 1 tablespoon of butter in the onion/mushroom pan. Mix the melted butter with the panko crumbs and spread generously over the casserole.

Cover and bake 30 minutes or until the side are bubbly and brown. Remove the lid and bake 5-10 minutes or until the Panko crust browns.

Note – to enjoy this best, allow to cool for 15 – 20 minutes. This stuff is hot, hot, hot and the cooler the better, to fully taste everything.

Six month update on healthier eating

1.    Lost 6 pounds in six months. Hey, it’s not awesome to most, but it is to me – someone who constantly gains 5-12 pounds per year. Yeah, you do the math, I’m headed somewhere disastrous.

2.    My triglycerides, HDL, LDL and Cholesterol as a whole are awesome; in fact all of my blood work is awesome with the exception of two tests – blood sugar and C Reactive Protein. After six years of fighting a battle with LDL/HDL/Tri, I finally win.

3.    I don’t miss meat. When I do, I eat it.

4.    I could be better at this healthy eating – less takeout, more vitamins. Less gluten, more water. Less sugar, more creativity.

5.    I’m growing tired and frustrated with our options, which leads to poor decisions.

6.    An appointment with a nutritionist has been scheduled to combat my woes.

7.    Since our move, we’re sleeping more and are generally pretty stoked about life.

8.    I’m proud of us.

A year later

 (The view from the moving truck last November 1)

 Here we are, a year into our cross-country trek from the great state of Oklahoma to the gorgeous abundance of North Carolina.

I can’t specify whether time has flown or slowed. Neither feels appropriate. Moving day in 2011 doesn’t seem like yesterday, but it also doesn’t seem like a light year away. It’s a weird feeling of time.

We’ve done a lot and learned a lot over the past year. It’s been relatively uneventful in the grand scheme of things, yet full of memorable moments. Overall, it's been a growing year of spreading our wings, becoming independent and being still.

Learned:
1.    Who matters to you and who you matter the most to.
2.    That our home for so many years may not be our home, after all. The same can be said for our home of the last year.
3.    How quiet our lives really are and how easily we can be affected by stimuli.
4.    That the people we thought would call all of the time doesn’t. The ones that do are a pleasant surprise.
5.    That what we put into our bodies and surround ourselves with does impact our lives. Everything has a reason and everything can positively or negatively impact you.
6.    That moving across the country for a distraction doesn’t create a baby, but does create an experience to last a lifetime.

The year in recap:
1.    We’ve “vacationed” in Asheville, New York City, Wrightsville, Reidville and Richmond.
2.    Five people have visited us from Oklahoma City and we loved every minute of it.
3.    Things we’ve enjoyed: Farmer’s markets, exploring RDU, watching the planes land/take off, new food hot spots, Thursday night trivia, having sand in the back of our car (from the beach), short flights, patio meals, visits to Duke Chapel and the Gardens, Broadway shows, exploring new towns, trips with friends, embracing the "Southern-way" and learning our way around.
4.    I’ve traveled to the following states this year (with work) – California, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Michigan, New York, New Jersey, Louisiana, Texas, Kansas, Missouri, Tennessee and Virginia.

Things I’m looking forward to over the next year:
1.    Moving from what feels like an urban dorm to a “grown-up” place: Yea, we had to do it once in our lives – the urban life of noise, brick and hip, hot spot – but now we’re done with that.  We’re excited to move to a place a bit more like our home in OKC, but with all of the headaches removed (i.e. no long commute).
2.    A concert at the Carolina Theatre: Joshua Radin and A Fine Frenzy
3.    Going to the beach when it is cold. Yea, we’re doing this.
4.    Finding a church, tribe and community.
5.    A large vacation and a few small ones
6.    Travis’s graduation.
7.    Spring time in Durham with the Dogwoods in bloom.

8.    More visitors!

Robbing me blind

Source: clockworklemon.com via Krystal on Pinterest

This foodie is currently not happy. Eventually, I’ll be fired up and challenged, but for now, I’m pissed.

The following items need to be removed from my diet…
-    Caffeine
-    Gluten
-    Dairy
-    Chocolate
-    Red meat (we already don’t really eat meat)
-    Alcohol
-    Sugar and Carbs

Um, how’s that supposed to work? I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the heart. Most of these are basically food groups within our house. This is going to be interesting. You should all start praying for Travis now because Lord knows I’m going to be a mad woman for a bit.

Yet.

It’s amazing how a few vacations and conversations over wine can start to change perspectives and reinforce my thoughts.

I can feel life changing within me, like I imagine a caterpillar does when it is in its cocoon. I can’t explain it, but I’m pleased with it. It feels like I’m to a point of grown-up-ness. I’m becoming someone I want to be. 

It’s like tasting a sauce with a distinct taste that you know, you just can’t put your finger on it. Yet.

Vacation Hangover

For months we’ve fretted over what to do for our fourth wedding anniversary getaway. Thoughts of New York City, Washington D.C., the Outer Banks, Baltimore, etc. passed through our minds on multiple occasions. Friends around us can attest to our inability to make a decision regarding this trip – like it was some monumental life-changing decision or something. Sure, you can ask us to move across country and we jump on board immediately, but plan a very short vacation, no way.

The time to finalize our plans stared us in the face and as the decision was made, it felt almost natural, organic if you will. We decided on visiting Richmond and Reedville, Virginia.
Not glamorous, I know, but we had specific reasoning.

Richmond: I wanted to do two things in Richmond and two things only, so a future lengthy trip wasn’t really necessary. The two things – visit Sally Bell’s Kitchen with Travis (I previously visited without him) and Hollywood Cemetery, a historic, gorgeous resting place for three Presidents that overlooks the river.

Reedville: Home of my absolute, all-time favorite Uncle (actually, great Uncle) and Aunt. My childhood memories of Uncle Herb’s business trips to Oklahoma City are some of my favorite. With only 4.5 hours of highways between us, I’m embarrassed to say that it has taken us to long to visit. There is so much that I can share regarding my Uncle and Aunt that I will save it for a separate, dedicated post.

On Thursday, we woke up a bit late after a long night of work and drove the short three hours through the winding highways of North Carolina and Virginia to Sally Bell’s Kitchen. As I mentioned, I visited here previously and haven’t stopped thinking about the macaroni salad since. Since Travis is a lover of mac salad, I knew it was something I had to share with him. The “lunch box” is perfectly portioned with a sandwich (we chose the salty ham), salad (mac, of course), deviled egg, a cheese cracker and a “cupcake”.  The cupcake originally brought me to Sally Bell’s, but the simple, pleasure of a perfectly proportioned box brings me back.

Next up – Hollywood Cemetery. This is a cemetery surrounded by what feels to be a little bit of a shady area. Seriously, houses flank two sides of it, the river another and the highway the last. Driving up to the entrance sort of feels like a lesson in how not to either get shot or how to low-ride. Once you enter the gates, it is like a majestic remote park. Roads winds up and around every bend. Burials are most prevalent from the 1800’s and early 1900’s. The ornate headstones and plots will take your breath away. It is something that everyone should see once.

After our jaunt through Richmond, we opted to stay the night in a local hotel to sleep off our exhaustion. The next morning, we were off to Reedville. It was two days of glorious water views, historic memories, hilarious stories, wakeless sleep, amazing food and good-for-the-heart comfort and love. I’d share more details, but honestly it was such an amazing trip that I’m still emotional to not be there. I don’t know if it was having to leave them or having to leave the technology –free vacation, but tears have run freely and my mind is constantly thinking of ways to return, soon.

I’m calling it a vacation-hangover and I’m happy to get back on the wagon, or off, whichever it is. Turns out that the decision to visit Richmond and Reedville was life-changing.