If you had no concept of time, could you tell a sunrise from a sunset? I've lost track of time, visual cues no longer guide me in days and months. Rather life is marked by events.
As I traveled this month, I stared out my assigned window seat (a must when flying) and smiled a smirk as I typically do. I love that with each flight I take, I'm reminded that with a change in altitude (or attitude), perceptions change. Mountains that seem impossibly high, appear to be nothing but a ripple in the Earth's ground. Endless rivers compare to a water droplet sliding down a window. Both equally lose their power with a change in perception.
I know, that the blips in our struggle with having a family are just that, blips, in the grand scheme of our lives. They do not tell our story, rather they add to our overall existence. One day, we will look back at these struggles and know that this pain, made us love each other more. Appreciate more. Stare into each other's eyes more, with an increased love, because only we have traveled this road together. One day, it will be our little secret. The one we admire each other for, another one we have survived.
When you are climbing the mountain or rafting the aggressive waters of the river, perception is hard to change. You cannot imagine that they can be something small, rather they consume you with their power.
Until you rise above it and respect that just like that, powers shift.
This year can either be deemed a challenging year or a year of blessings. We've now experienced two miscarriages within the past 70 days. We can give this situation the power by feeling betrayed and beaten by the loss. Or, we can assume it by seeing this as a blessing that successful connection occurred. I assume the latter.
Perceptions change. And, I guarantee this, we will rise above this. We will set the sun on or have it rise on this one minor blip in our life.
Fertility issues, prepare to have your ass kicked as we, the Powers, are going to take what is rightfully ours.
*Note: I'm not going to lie, this recent loss has left me devastated. It freaking sucks. Having to have a period following this situation is a bitch. However, I chose to not sit still. To not let this leave me in the corner trembling. My goal in life, is for someone to say at my passing, "yeah, that boot straps quote - she laughed at it as she strapped on her stilettos." Because we all know that pulling on a pair of boots and walking is much easier than navigating life in stilettos.
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